Saturday, July 9, 2011

Release

It's not secret that I'm not a super private person. I probably put too much out there, but with my personality, I think that maybe it's a form of release. Not sure. I'm simply writing this for two reasons: To ask for prayers, and to get the feelings out of my head and put them somewhere else.

I have had a not so great month. We had a house fire, I lost it at work - cried in front of boss...not cool, had a dog die on vacation (not aspyn - my mom's), bought $700.00 in tires, replaced a window, found out some health concerns, and it ended with some criticism from others. I'm not sure why I've had so many trials, but I know God is teaching me something. I just wish I'd learn whatever it is so this streak could end.

I feel like I work extremely hard to be a good friend, wife, loan officer, photographer, daughter, & sister. For some reason I am not happy with simplicity and I think that's what I need. I want to be constantly growing and I forget where to slow down. I want something to be "good enough" and that doesn't seem to happen. Maybe it's just life. Maybe that's what God wants. If life were perfect we would never yearn for an eternity with Him and I know that's so much more splendid than anything here.

Please keep my silly problems in your prayers. Please pray that God will send a peace over me. Pray that He will allow me to enjoy life and that the hurtful words of others won't penetrate so deep that it effects me more than it deserves. I will let people down, I will screw up, but after I've done my best that's all I can do. Pray that years of hurt will finally leave and that I will sit in His splender and enjoy His beauty over the splender and beauty I try and create for myself.

Thank you all for being such a sweet support system, and for taking the time to lift me up. I love you all

Xx

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